Sometimes the most meaningful experiences are the most difficult to write about. As I reflect back on the last weekend intensive teacher training, I’m not sure where to begin.
I had a moving experience on Saturday morning while resting in savasana.
Our instructor had spent a lot of time during class on breath work and perspective; coming into your body and looking at yourself from the outside- being the “see-er.” In our lives, we come to define people by their characteristics, their labels, what separates them from others. For example, we have different bathrooms for men and women in most public settings. But in yoga, our job as the see-er is to abandon these labels, these differences, and see only with understanding.
This is the best way I can describe my savasana on Saturday morning when out of nowhere tears started streaming down my cheeks and into my ears as the back of my head released into my mat. It fully surprised me because I had no idea what was happening. It was not a conscious choice to let go and to cry, it just happened.
When I rolled onto my right side and slowly made my way back up to a seated position, I wiped the tears away and it was only then that I started to put together what was happening. I was releasing; I had fully let go. I had abandoned things that didn’t serve me and I was looking from the outside with nothing but love- at myself.
For most of us, myself included, this can be such a challenge, maybe the biggest challenge we face in life even. So for that I am so grateful for this experience of seeing myself in that way for a moment, completely without judgement. I am also very grateful for my instructor who was able to guide me to this place of understanding.
I feel a door opening. I am stepping in. I am letting go.
To be continued…
Sarah Bregel is a mother, a writer, a women’s personal trainer and the creator of BHealthyBmore.com. She is currently enrolled in yoga teacher training at Yoga on York. She loves yoga, food and wine, and believes “everything in moderation” is the best advice in the world. She lives in Mount Washington with her husband, Marshall and their daughter, Piper.